Everyone knows that laughter is the best medicine. That’s
why it’s high priority on my Cancer Journey bucket list. Fortunately, I’m
blessed with bookoos of friends who love to laugh and have fun.
And among those friends are the members of my “Writer’s
Critique Group”, Marilyn (Chica) Zapata and Dawn Storey. We met during a
creative writing class at COM in 2006, then formed our own group and have been
meeting just about every month since then to share our stories. These tales are
usually essays about our lives, so we’ve learned a lot about each other over
the past seven years; sharing the ups and downs that life dishes out. But
mostly, we’ve shared laughter, the best gift of all, because these ladies know
how to have fun!
We held this month’s meeting at the Longhorn Steakhouse
Restaurant in Webster, and since my new favorite beverage is a frozen margarita,
Dawn offered to be my designated driver. (I get a tad tipsy after just a few
sips.) I suppose I’ve been a bad influence on our group—we now all imbibe—but,
to be honest, it has upped the fun at our meetings by a factor of Giggles2!
Here we are in the
photo (Dawn on the left, me in the middle and Chica). We enjoyed our tasty
lunch and deliciosos margaritas! Yum! Afterward, we each read our stories.
Over the past thirty years, I’ve written everything from
craft pattern instructions to newsletters to how-to books to blogs (lots of
blogs!!). But my favorite, by far, is writing humorous short stories, and I
find inspiration in the most mundane of topics. My contribution to this month’s
writers’ group meeting is below. Hopefully, no friendships were harmed in the
telling. Please forgive me—sometimes my imagination runs amuck!
The Shopping List
by Gloria Hander
Lyons
Before dashing off one day last week to meet a friend for
lunch, I grabbed my shopping list, thinking I might run a few errands on my way
home.
I glanced at it briefly and smiled. There were only three
items on it: .22 caliber bullets, pantyhose, and baby shampoo. What did that
say about me?
A stranger reading the list might suspect I was planning a
bank robbery. My friend, Chief of Police at the LMPD, would definitely frown on
such activity. I was a model citizen when I lived in La Marque, not to mention
the fact that I was Chairperson of my neighborhood Community Watch Group; sworn
to watch out for my neighbors and report potential crime issues.
“What the heck happened?” he would ask my former neighbors,
Susan, Sharon, and Carolyn.
“She just snapped!” Susan would reply.
“She got too carried away with her bucket list!” Sharon
would add.
“This is serious,” the Chief would say. “It might involve
handcuffs!”
“Umm,” Carolyn would murmur, trying desperately not to grin.
In my defense, there is a simple explanation. The bullets
were for target practice with my new handgun. I needed them for a private
shooting lesson at the indoor shooting range the following day and planned to
stop off at my favorite one-stop-shopping place, Wal-Mart. I just love shooting
holes in those targets!
The pantyhose, however, take a bit more explaining. My
friend and fellow writer, Coral, who lives in a beach house by the bay in
Galveston, invited me to attend a play in Houston. We were excited about our
trip to the big city to see a famous Broadway show.
“The pressure is on for me to clean off the sand between my
toes and try to look suave,” she said.
“I don’t think suave is
in my repertoire,” I replied. “I’ll aim for civilized.” And you know what that
means—a dress and those dreaded PANTYHOSE!!! Yuck!
I haven’t worn pantyhose since my wedding day in 1987. Do
they still make them anymore? I decided to cruise through the hosiery
department at Wal-Mart after loading up on the ammo. Surely I could find them
there.
“But, what about the baby shampoo?” the stranger might ask.
“Why was that on her list?”
I’ll never tell… There are some secrets a girl just needs to
keep to herself.
Thank you Chica and Dawn for many years of fun and
laughter!
