My life these days is overflowing with fun events and
activities. I am truly blessed with bookoos of friends who fill my heart with
joy. My favorite traveling buddy, Coral Beach, pretty much summed it up when
she said, “Every day is like your birthday!” She’s right!
As I’ve mentioned before, I try to squeeze as much happiness
as I can out of each day. For the most part, that means spending time with
close friends and family, flying, dancing, shopping or searching for new activities
to try. But I also love writing—especially humorous short stories about my life.
Even though writing is a solitary process, reliving those events through story
telling triggers an avalanche of fond memories. And sharing those stories with
others adds even more joy.
In 2010, I published Kiss
My Grits, Sugar, a collection of 19 humorous short stories about
growing up in the South during the 1950s, plus more than 80 of my family’s
favorite recipes for good old-fashioned Southern cooking. I recently converted
the print book into an e-book for sale on Kindle Direct Publishing
(Amazon.com). As the author, I’m allowed to offer the e-book free of charge for
five days. Wanting to share my book with as many people as possible, I signed
up for the promotion.
I was overwhelmed with the result—2,192 copies were
downloaded during that short period of time. And I received two five-star, heartwarming
reviews from total strangers about my stories.
Sometimes joy comes from spending time with beloved friends
and family members—and sometimes it comes from sharing those cherished memories
with others.
Thanks for the memories!!!
* * * * *
by Gloria
Hander Lyons
From an early age, Southern girls are taught
never to swear. But everyone knows swearing is just a way of letting off steam
when you get your feathers ruffled. Out of necessity, we’ve invented a few
colorful expletives over time to help vent our anger without offending those in
polite society.
One morning when I was eight, and my two
sisters were six and ten, we gathered around the kitchen table to eat our usual
hearty breakfast of eggs, biscuits, jam, bacon and grits. Since I enjoyed
experimenting with my food, I stirred a bit of sugar into my grits.
My older sister, Anna, was horrified. “Gloria
Jean, don’t you have a grain of sense? You’re not supposed to put sugar in
grits!”
“I’ll eat my grits any way I want and if you
don’t like it you can kiss my…!”
Both my sisters sucked in air. “Don’t you
dare say a cuss word!” Anna said.
I scooped up a big spoonful of grits and
flicked it in her direction. “Kiss my grits!” I yelled.
The white mush landed with a splat just above
her left eye. She growled and returned fire with a forkful of eggs-over-easy.
“Quit it!” snapped my younger sister,
Charlotte. “Mama’s gonna have a hissy fit when she sees this mess!”
Two biscuits bounced off the top of her head.
“Mama!” she wailed.
By the time our mama showed up, Anna and I were
locked in a death grip, rolling around on the floor, and covered head to toe in
food.
Needless to say, the two of us spent the rest
of the morning sweeping and mopping the floor, scrubbing the table and washing
the dishes while Charlotte played in the backyard.
“I hope you’ve learned your lesson,” said
Mama after we’d put away the last of the clean dishes.
“Yes, Ma’am,” we said in unison.
We learned our lesson all right. Next time
we’d settle our differences outside.
Recipes included with
this story: Southern Grits, Cheesy
Grits, Shrimp & Grits, Homemade Biscuits, Sausage Gravy
Visit the Kiss My Grits, Sugar! blog for more sample stories and recipes.
Visit the Kiss My Grits, Sugar! blog for more sample stories and recipes.
